One of the great things about having kids when you're a little bit older is that you can look to friends and family who have gone ahead of you and learn from their experiences, both good and bad.
My sister just went through a good one.
This week her eldest had his graduation complete with suits, gowns and school dance. His mom's reflection on the event prepares me for what is still a few years ahead, with both a smile and a heavy heart.
Thanks for the insight Jodi.
B
She writes...
"I was amazed a number of times last night at my son's graduation to watch the connection these 13 and 14 year olds have with each other. Boys held doors for the girls, helped them down the stairs to make sure they didn't trip in their heels, over their dresses. Girls applauded the boys as they got their awards, and vice versa - the loudest applause came when the most deserving child received the most deserving award! The highlights of the evening were many but dancing with my son is something I won't soon forget! In suits, they looked like men, the girls were beyond classy and stunning, and the pride in the parents eyes was filling the air! But more than anything, the connection these kids have with each other, at such a young age, and the respect they have for their parents, (the first dance was sons with their moms and daughters with their dads) even in a situation they really didn't want to be in is something we should all be proud of...as soon as one child spun their mom on the floor, the others followed suit...I can't wait to see what the class of 2010 will become. Congratulations Brady, I LOVE YOU!"
Friday, June 25, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Smile!
My wife and I are in the process of taking our first family vacation. And in doing so we needed to get passports for our two kids.
When our seven year old was having her picture taken she was asked NOT to smile. Something we as adults have become accustomed to whenever getting our drivers license or passports done, but an unusual request to a child.
When asked WHY she wasn't suppose to smile, the photographer said, "It's so they can see what you really look like."
Although I have heard that before, it suddenly struck me as odd. So THIS is what I really look like? But...I look sad. Or mad. Or just out of prison. That's not me. I'm a happy person who has spent my life in a career trying to make people smile, and laugh.
So...why can't we all crack the biggest smile we can and say THIS is what I really look like?
ALL of us!! Would we become a society of happy people? Imagine the horror!!
Next...I have to explain to the kids why we have to take our shoes off going through customs.
B
When our seven year old was having her picture taken she was asked NOT to smile. Something we as adults have become accustomed to whenever getting our drivers license or passports done, but an unusual request to a child.
When asked WHY she wasn't suppose to smile, the photographer said, "It's so they can see what you really look like."
Although I have heard that before, it suddenly struck me as odd. So THIS is what I really look like? But...I look sad. Or mad. Or just out of prison. That's not me. I'm a happy person who has spent my life in a career trying to make people smile, and laugh.
So...why can't we all crack the biggest smile we can and say THIS is what I really look like?
ALL of us!! Would we become a society of happy people? Imagine the horror!!
Next...I have to explain to the kids why we have to take our shoes off going through customs.
B
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Discovery
As I raise my kids I dread the thought of consoling their broken hearts but rejoice in watching their discoveries.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
So Beautiful
Whatever your spiritual beliefs are, you would be hard pressed to not believe in "God given gifts" after listening to this.
Enjoy. :)
B
You're Beautiful
Enjoy. :)
B
You're Beautiful
Thursday, April 1, 2010
The Message vs The Messenger
Today a friend put me onto this video, and as a father of two young girls it had an immediate emotional impact on me. Goose bumps as soon as I read the tag line. And yet when I tried to share it with a couple of other people, they immediately dismissed it because the parent company of the brand that created the video, also sells products with the complete opposite message. So the company is labeled hypocritical and the message lost.
I don't get it.
If I am exposed to something and a seed is planted in my mind that makes me think or act differently, and I am moved by the message and the resulting effects...isn't that all that should matter? Isn't it simply about opening my mind and ideally becoming a better person? Do I need to dig deeper and deeper beyond the immediate results to see if somewhere...way deep down... there might be a reason to negate the positive?
Call me naive, but I choose to cherry pick what I ingest, letting the good stuff get in and take root and leaving the other stuff outside for someone else to pick up. (Please don't!)
The message in this video...made it in.
Thank you Dove.
B
I don't get it.
If I am exposed to something and a seed is planted in my mind that makes me think or act differently, and I am moved by the message and the resulting effects...isn't that all that should matter? Isn't it simply about opening my mind and ideally becoming a better person? Do I need to dig deeper and deeper beyond the immediate results to see if somewhere...way deep down... there might be a reason to negate the positive?
Call me naive, but I choose to cherry pick what I ingest, letting the good stuff get in and take root and leaving the other stuff outside for someone else to pick up. (Please don't!)
The message in this video...made it in.
Thank you Dove.
B
Sunday, March 28, 2010
A Great Way To End My Week
Last Friday I was fortunate enough to spend an hour with two people that I have been blessed to know. I've only seen Teya a handful of times over the last five years but have watched her development with inspiration in my heart and a lump in my throat. Now she is a teenager filled with love, compassion, humour, sarcasm and a continual drive to achieve.
Her mother Jeanette has more on her plate than any of us can imagine. But as she has taught me, the higher your obstacles and challenges, the more opportunity you have for victory and success, both big and small.
For those who haven't met Teya...
B
Her mother Jeanette has more on her plate than any of us can imagine. But as she has taught me, the higher your obstacles and challenges, the more opportunity you have for victory and success, both big and small.
For those who haven't met Teya...
B
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Tears Of Joy
The one thing all warring countries seem to have in common...is the love for their children. I can't help but think that if we could ALL tap into the emotion of this video, nobody would ever pick up a gun again.
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
Monday, March 15, 2010
Easier Said Than Done?
“Before you decide how to treat someone, image you were them.” – Justin Cohen
I came across that quote yesterday while browsing the web and it stuck in my head. A simple concept but perhaps a difficult thing to actually execute.
The rest of my weekend was partially spent focused on my father who is very close to the end of his run with us as he tiredly struggles through the last part of a 14 year battle with Parkinsons.
Watching someone as they prepare to pass-on is an interesting process. And watching the way their surviving friends and family deal with the situation can be equally fascinating. My younger sister seems most hit by this anticipated event. She is crushed and mourning even before Dad has taken his last breath. She will have a major hole in her life that she is already feeling, and her pain seems…deeper than mine. I will miss my Dad, no question. But he and my sister had a much closer relationship than with any of the other children. A closeness that I never knew and therefore a sense of loss I will not know.
And truth be told, I cannot help but slip into judgment of her on occasion as she sits nervously in the chair by the hospital bed emotional and cranky and irritable. How can I relate to my sister now, when all these years she had the golden spoon handed to her and only her. We are now so different.
Then last night I was reading a book to my daughter and cuddling her before she fell asleep. I lay on the floor beside her filled with the very special love she and I have…and it hit me. This is not about me understanding my sister.
It’s about me understanding a daughter.
“Before you decide how to treat someone, image you were them.”
Thank you Justin.
B
I came across that quote yesterday while browsing the web and it stuck in my head. A simple concept but perhaps a difficult thing to actually execute.
The rest of my weekend was partially spent focused on my father who is very close to the end of his run with us as he tiredly struggles through the last part of a 14 year battle with Parkinsons.
Watching someone as they prepare to pass-on is an interesting process. And watching the way their surviving friends and family deal with the situation can be equally fascinating. My younger sister seems most hit by this anticipated event. She is crushed and mourning even before Dad has taken his last breath. She will have a major hole in her life that she is already feeling, and her pain seems…deeper than mine. I will miss my Dad, no question. But he and my sister had a much closer relationship than with any of the other children. A closeness that I never knew and therefore a sense of loss I will not know.
And truth be told, I cannot help but slip into judgment of her on occasion as she sits nervously in the chair by the hospital bed emotional and cranky and irritable. How can I relate to my sister now, when all these years she had the golden spoon handed to her and only her. We are now so different.
Then last night I was reading a book to my daughter and cuddling her before she fell asleep. I lay on the floor beside her filled with the very special love she and I have…and it hit me. This is not about me understanding my sister.
It’s about me understanding a daughter.
“Before you decide how to treat someone, image you were them.”
Thank you Justin.
B
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Mom Was Right
Growing up I had stars in my eyes as I imagined a life as an actor and director...and my mother always told me I was living in a dream world.
Turns out she was right.
Here is Harvard Psychologist Dan Gilbert discussing the concept of Synthetic Happiness.
It's a 20 minute talk but VERY interesting.
http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.html
B
Turns out she was right.
Here is Harvard Psychologist Dan Gilbert discussing the concept of Synthetic Happiness.
It's a 20 minute talk but VERY interesting.
http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.html
B
Sunday, March 7, 2010
The Guardian
As a parent of two little girls I constantly find myself walking the line between teaching and learning.
The tricky part of the process is that you're bringing your baggage to the table. All the hurt, failure and disappointment that everyone MUST experience as part of their journey, is exactly the thing I want my kids to avoid. I find myself slipping into control mode to "help them" make it through the day unscathed both physically and emotionally. I can't even imagine the teenage dating days ahead. It will break my heart...when someone breaks their heart.
But I've realized this mindset puts too much focus on what they CAN'T do or what might go wrong. Not the best plan to allow someone to flourish. And the reality is that all those negative experiences we have all struggled through, just made the victories that much sweeter. I wouldn't change a thing in my life, so why am I trying to change things in theirs?
Turns out it's not them I've been trying to protect.
It's me.
B
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGODurRfVv4&feature=player_embedded
The tricky part of the process is that you're bringing your baggage to the table. All the hurt, failure and disappointment that everyone MUST experience as part of their journey, is exactly the thing I want my kids to avoid. I find myself slipping into control mode to "help them" make it through the day unscathed both physically and emotionally. I can't even imagine the teenage dating days ahead. It will break my heart...when someone breaks their heart.
But I've realized this mindset puts too much focus on what they CAN'T do or what might go wrong. Not the best plan to allow someone to flourish. And the reality is that all those negative experiences we have all struggled through, just made the victories that much sweeter. I wouldn't change a thing in my life, so why am I trying to change things in theirs?
Turns out it's not them I've been trying to protect.
It's me.
B
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGODurRfVv4&feature=player_embedded
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Tickling The Ivory
So what do you do if you're 90, and you're sitting in the hospital with time to kill between appointments?
Marlow: "I saw that piano and it said if you'd like to play it...and I touched the key and I thought... WOW! Now THAT's a piano."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RI-l0tK8Ok0
Marlow: "I saw that piano and it said if you'd like to play it...and I touched the key and I thought... WOW! Now THAT's a piano."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RI-l0tK8Ok0
Contagious
For the last couple of years I have been taking public transit to work every morning and home every night, and about six months ago it dawned on me as I was looking at the faces of my co-riders...nobody seems happy.
Almost everyone has a sorrowful, Debbie Downer expression. Pinched eyebrows, unfocused gazes... I'm never sure if it's a result of where they've come from or where they're headed, but I do know at that very moment they are not happy. Or is this their natural expression. Have the events of their lives weathered them to the point that their natural look is a sad, angry, depressed one? Are you one of them? Am I?
One day out a mix of curiosity and boredom, I tried this little experiment that turned out to be not only a great time killer but it put me in an awesome mood and started me off on a great day. I looked at the sower-pusses one by one, and imagined them with an ear-to-ear smile. Or actually in the midst of a joyful belly laugh. These are complete strangers who I don't know, and probably never will, but just the idea of seeing them filled with humour and joy...made me feel happy and positive.
Which proves to me it's an emotion that is easily transferable.
You should try it sometime and see if it works.
Here's a great video that proves the point!
B
Almost everyone has a sorrowful, Debbie Downer expression. Pinched eyebrows, unfocused gazes... I'm never sure if it's a result of where they've come from or where they're headed, but I do know at that very moment they are not happy. Or is this their natural expression. Have the events of their lives weathered them to the point that their natural look is a sad, angry, depressed one? Are you one of them? Am I?
One day out a mix of curiosity and boredom, I tried this little experiment that turned out to be not only a great time killer but it put me in an awesome mood and started me off on a great day. I looked at the sower-pusses one by one, and imagined them with an ear-to-ear smile. Or actually in the midst of a joyful belly laugh. These are complete strangers who I don't know, and probably never will, but just the idea of seeing them filled with humour and joy...made me feel happy and positive.
Which proves to me it's an emotion that is easily transferable.
You should try it sometime and see if it works.
Here's a great video that proves the point!
B
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Perspective
It's easy to let the stress of our days as responsible adults bog us down.
I'm in the process of launching a successful start-up business and dealing with the ebb and flow of both personal and business finances, incredible deadlines, very long work hours that deny me the time I wish I could spend with my family, pressure to deliver, planning for our company's growth while keeping an eye on my blood pressure...on top of keeping up with the needs of our kids at home and striving to provide for them while instilling the right life values. Geez, that's a lot!
So when my wife calls me in tears I stop working and prepare to deal with whatever the issue is.
In this case it was the report card of our grade one daughter. But the tears...were of joy.
"She is a role model of kindness and empathy to others".
All is right in the world.
B
I'm in the process of launching a successful start-up business and dealing with the ebb and flow of both personal and business finances, incredible deadlines, very long work hours that deny me the time I wish I could spend with my family, pressure to deliver, planning for our company's growth while keeping an eye on my blood pressure...on top of keeping up with the needs of our kids at home and striving to provide for them while instilling the right life values. Geez, that's a lot!
So when my wife calls me in tears I stop working and prepare to deal with whatever the issue is.
In this case it was the report card of our grade one daughter. But the tears...were of joy.
"She is a role model of kindness and empathy to others".
All is right in the world.
B
Monday, March 1, 2010
Another Reason To Be Proud
Coming off a VERY successful showing at the 2010 Winter Olympics, it's easy to be proud of our country and our athletes. It's also easy to erase the division of borders and appreciate ALL the athletes from all the countries who dedicated themselves to personal bests.
This morning I discovered another reason to not only be proud of the country I live in, but part of a compassionate world.
This is the French Canadian charity "Clowns Without Borders" helping to put smiles back on the faces of the children of Haiti.
Enjoy.
This morning I discovered another reason to not only be proud of the country I live in, but part of a compassionate world.
This is the French Canadian charity "Clowns Without Borders" helping to put smiles back on the faces of the children of Haiti.
Enjoy.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Shared Victory
Imagine being an athlete at the Olympics and winning a bronze medal in your sport. You are elated with your success and can now enjoy watching the rest of the games. Then you get to sit in your seat and watch the love of your life compete in his race...and win the gold!
Watch this video!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-wU7bQ6Mbw
Watch this video!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-wU7bQ6Mbw
Kids and Dogs
This email was passed along to me by my wife.
I'm hoping it puts the same smile on your face and warmth in your heart that it did to me.
Enjoy.
B
Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey.. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words:
Dear God,
Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick.
I hope you will play with her.. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her You will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.
Love, Meredith
We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it.. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.
Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, 'To Meredith' in an unfamiliar hand.. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, 'When a Pet Dies..' Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey &Meredith and this note:
Dear Meredith,
Abbey arrived safely in heaven.
Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away.
Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by..
Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you.
I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much.
By the way, I'm easy to find, I am wherever there is love.
Love,
God
I'm hoping it puts the same smile on your face and warmth in your heart that it did to me.
Enjoy.
B
Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey.. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words:
Dear God,
Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick.
I hope you will play with her.. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her You will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.
Love, Meredith
We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it.. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.
Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, 'To Meredith' in an unfamiliar hand.. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, 'When a Pet Dies..' Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey &Meredith and this note:
Dear Meredith,
Abbey arrived safely in heaven.
Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away.
Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by..
Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you.
I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much.
By the way, I'm easy to find, I am wherever there is love.
Love,
God
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